(Aunty writing down grocery list on pink paper)
Mother: Why are you writing with a red pen?
Aunty G: OH. No wonder so difficult for me to see what i'm writing

(My father in Australia, calls his grandmother to say hi)
Father: Hi Grandma! Aloysius here
Grandmother: WHAT? Aloysius not here lah, he's in australia! (Hangs up the phone)
Father: Not again

Luke: Here's a joke - I say no to drugs, but they won't listen
(everyone rolls eyes but laughs anyway)
Zac (5 seconds later) : Oh! I get it!
Josh: What?
Zac: It's because drugs can't hear you!
(???)

(Josh tells a joke)
Luke: HAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. HAHAHA
Josh: Do you even get it?
Luke: Uh no.

See what I have to live with